My perspective on life… And why I quit doing drugs a few years back.

Summer. A couple years back. I was smoking pot every day. And popping aderral (which I can’t spell). And vicodin. Life was hazy. I mean this literally, not as some joke. Everything looked hazy. Walking home from my friend’s house on a sunny day, there was a haze to the world around me. I felt myself wishing the haze would go away so I could just see how beautiful everything really was, instead of through my drug induced goggles. It was a beautiful day, and I was pissed because I couldn’t fully appreciate it.


So later on, I sat down outside, was chain-smoking cigarettes, and was reading a favorite book of mine.  Fellowship of the Ring. ( I like the Hobbit, LOTR1 &2, but I hate 3 for some reason. Its just boring.) As usual, I was pondering the meaning of life and such, and what happiness really means, and I come across a part of the book where they meet Tom Bombadil. here is his song:

Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo!
Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow!
Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo!

Hey! Come merry dol! derry dol! My darling!
Light goes the weather-wind and the feathered starling.
Down along under Hill, shining in the sunlight,
Waiting on the doorstep for the cold starlight,
There my pretty lady is, River-woman’s daughter,
Slender as the willow-wand, clearer than the water.
Old Tom Bombadil water-lilies bringing
Comes hopping home again. Can you hear him singing?
Hey! Come merry dol! derry dol! and merry-o,
Goldberry, Goldberry, merry yellow berry-o!
Poor old Willow-man, you tuck your roots away!
Tom’s in a hurry now. Evening will follow day.
Tom’s going home home again water-lilies bringing.
Hey! come derry dol! Can you hear me singing?

Hop along, my little friends, up the Withywindle!
Tom’s going on ahead candles for to kindle.
Down west sinks the Sun: soon you will be groping.
When the night-shadows fall, then the door will open,
Out of the window-panes light will twinkle yellow.
Fear no alder black! Heed no hoary willow!
Fear neither root nor bough! Tom goes on before you.
Hey now! merry dol! We’ll be waiting for you!

Hey! Come derry dol! Hop along, my hearties!
Hobbits! Ponies all! We are fond of parties.
Now let the fun begin! Let us sing together!

They are all so fond of singing together, and story telling. And yet they are adults. And I had a epiphany. Why must society frown upon adults doing childish things? Those things are a lot of fun damnit! and they made us happy. Drawing with sidewalk chalk. Coloring. We still think little kid TV shows are cute. Why can’t we just let our imagination run away with us? I thought about this, and I let my imagination run. I thought about shrinking down to thumbelina size. Riding on the back of a bumble bee. I imagined. If the bumble bee were to climb into a snapdragon, would we sneeze? It would be so much fun. And I laughed to myself thinking this. If you are always trying to be right and proper, will you ever be happy? Just let go, have a little fun. You may get some wierd looks at first, but in the end, do you really care what they think? You just had the time of your life! This also brings me to the point. Sometimes you have to find the brightside of things. You can’t always rely on the world around you to drop happiness into your life. Find something beautiful to look at. Just enjoy it. Look at a robin thats sitting up in the tree. Its pretty. The world around you can be a beautiful place, if you just look for it.


BTW, what brought me to this rant, is about a week ago a friend bought a new washer. We decided to make a house out of it. My friend is 24 years old. I am 20. This house had a sturdy roof. A window. A working door. And a flower box underneath the window. We dropped this house off in the middle of Hudsonville so the resto of the world could enjoy it.

Answer me this world: Are you too old to have fun?

Another BTW, I am pregnant.

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